Rob Manuel of B3ta.com
I make demented web stuff for work and for play. You may have seen my creations in the
, which I write every week, and on the
which I co-founded. Contact me via
robmanuel AT gmail DOT com
Bumper B3ta Book of Sick Jokes
Compiled a lovely lovely book of jokes, so far sold approx 30,000 copies. Huzzah.
Companion site for the book. Got a good joke? Then share it with the Sickipedians.
It's a blog. Starring me. I bet you can't wait to read it.
Female or Shemale
My big hit. Woo.
Gash or Tash
Can you tell the difference between fringe or minge?
Man Milk or Moo Milk
Bukkake olympics. Huzzah.
Name That Beard
A quiz. About beards. Best with sound.
Can you tell Ant from Dec in this quiz? I can't.
Does what it says on the tin.
Funnel or Tunnel
Popular with blokes.
He-cat or She-cat
You can actually tell.
Phallic Logo Awards
Giving prizes to those who deserve them. Zoo Magazine
How To Poach An Egg
There's more to me that my l33t flash skillz. I have also mastered the egg.
Me and the missus took a trip to an art gallery. Oddly enough it
ended up in the papers
Other peoples songs
The biker kitten is here to rock your world. (Made with Joel Veitch)
Hey Hey 16k
Cheerful nostalgia. ZX spectrum style.
I Like Bukkake
Suprisingly work safe considering.
If I Could Shit Out My Cock
A question that popped into my head whilst waiting for a lift.
Tramp 'o' Claus
Seasonal greetings. Kentish town style.
Kill Your Parents
Teenage goths. I love them.
You Can't Spell
An unpleasant little song.
I Love You (Kitten)
Made for ladies. Mmm. Ladies.
What White Stripes should be singing.
B B B B Birmingham
The heart of Midlands, the middle of my heart.
Cats are lazy. Why? Because they're drunk.
Spiderman Will Make You Gay
A "you are gay" game of tick.
A quick gag. Popular in the city.
Beer Beer Beer
Go on. Have a beer.
A warning to those who drink too much.
She's in a Wheelchair
But I don't care, coz she's a babe.
Click the Colour
Stroop effect arcade game. Pleased with the tune.
Smell the ink. SMELL THE INK.
Cursor Love Bunny
& Lucy Reese)
How steady is your hand?
Spot the Clifference
A spot the difference game with Cliff Richard.
Realistic Internet Simulator
Click the pop ups. Oh no! There's more.
Crack My Knuckles
This will make you wince.
Buffy's Swearing Keyboard
/ Lucy Reese)
My favourite of the swearing things.
Top 10 Cutest Kittens
A nice simple idea executed without frills.
Recent web clients:
Nuts About Film - an animated quiz for the Barbican (with Joel Veitch / Tomboy Virals) - currently hosted here as the Barbican campaign is over.
Van Weasel - animation for Capital Radio (with David Stevenson / Tomboy Virals)
Huge Cock - film for Virgin Trains (With Joel Veitch / Ben Wheatley / Tomboy Virals)
Diarrhea Dan - game for BBC (with David Stevenson)
Tricky Flicky - DVD art quiz for Scenta (with Mike Trinder / War Elephant)
Crop of the Pops - album art quiz for Scenta (with Mike Trinder / War Elephant)
Handbag friends - animation and song for Random House.
I've stuck up a
of newspaper and magazine coverage.
Victor Lewis-Smith - break-bumpers for You're Fayed, titles & break-bumpers for the Michael Carroll documentary.
Dave Gorman's Googlewhack Adventure DVD - animated music video.
Look Around You - animated insert in this popular BBC comedy.
SoTV - commissioned me to produce B3ta TV, a pilot based on the B3ta website.
I sell sponsorship of the B3ta newsletter, generally to agencies who wish to promote their latest client sites. Buyers include Sony, BBC, and Channel4.
Partly as a test of courage in late 2005 I booked a 150 seat theatre and sold tickets to 'A Brief History of Saving the Web'. I told a lot of dirty jokes, gave a few insights into my theories on web stuff and everybody cheered. Subsquently advertising agency Wieden+Kennedy asked me to deliver the same talk to their creatives. Which was a lot of fun.
Working for you
Absolutely. Get in touch if there's something you want to talk about. Contact via robmanuel AT gmail DOT com
Can I get MP3s to any of your songs?
Sure - you can
download my mp3s
if you like. I've even popped in a few bonus tracks for the truly hardcore.
What's the music on that game?
Cursor Love Bunny: Erik Satie - Trois Gymnopedies and Wedlock- I'm The Fuck You Man.
What's New Pussy Cat: The Meowmix advert tune
P45 Generator: Goodbye-ee - Peter Cook & Dudley Moore
Name that beard: Rasputin by Luna and Jihad by The Sisterhood.
Will you send me the Rasputin MP3?
It's not my song to send you.
Will you sell me a "I Love You Kitten" t-shirt?
What are the chords to your songs?
Can I link to your stuff?
That would be great, but please don't copy the files to your own site, or frame my work. Thanks.
Can I use your Female or Shemale quiz script to make my own quiz?
As long as it's a non-commercial project and you
credit my work - then it's cool.
How can I learn Flash?
I suggest setting yourself a quick project, and using the help files when you get stuck. That's what I did. However, people tell me that flashkit has some
I'm a 16 year old goth from Texas and here's my poetry...
I wrote a poem once.
But I kept quiet about it. You're going to go pink from shame when a future colleague finds it online in 5 years time.
Where's that stuff you did for Y.O.B with Joel Veitch?
Female or Shemale 2
Harder than the first one.
Jailbait or Legal
Popular with freaks.
Gay or Straight
I like the backing music.
Celebrity or Look-alike
(from an idea by Vladislav Golounov with Lucy Reese)
Female or Shemale 3
People kept emailing me asking for another shemale quiz. So they got one. No more.
Nonce or Babysitter
Hmmm. What can I say?
Spot The Gif-erence
Can you spot the difference between gifs and jpegs? A quiz for web designers.
The Singing Kitten
Slightly disturbing. I think it's the lips.
I Need the Toilet
I wrote this when I needed a poo.
Smoke a Fag
If cigerette companies were allowed to advertise.
An attempt to play the Batman theme on a £10 acoustic guitar.
Patrick Moore Plays The Xylophone
Jonti - of Weebl & Bob fame - made this with me.
I Am A Mong And This Is My Song
A video of Jonti and me banging our heads and singing.
I'm So Sorry
Song and animation to say sorry in slightly threatening manner.
Video Killed The Radio Star
I made this when we started b3ta.
Nazi Kitten Ball
I nicked a game engine from flashkit and put silly graphics into it. Yay.
I like stuff that doesn't make much sense. Much like this.
You Are An Arse
Add your mate's name. Hear me sing. Woo hoo.
Couldn't be arsed to do any research on how people swore in our countries tho.
Weebl & Bob
I guest directed an episode of the popular cartoon Weebl and Bob. Huzzah.
Fatcat & Satan
A short cartoon featuring gratuitous swearing.